{"id":4620,"date":"2025-12-29T20:27:11","date_gmt":"2025-12-29T17:27:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chexia.info\/?p=4620"},"modified":"2025-12-29T20:27:11","modified_gmt":"2025-12-29T17:27:11","slug":"bezela-jsem-za-baxterem-jako-bych-prestala-vnimat-vlastni-telo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chexia.info\/?p=4620","title":{"rendered":"B\u011b\u017eela jsem za Baxterem, jako bych p\u0159estala vn\u00edmat vlastn\u00ed t\u011blo."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Nevn\u00edmala jsem chlad ani \u00fanavu, jen ostr\u00fd vzduch, kter\u00fd mi \u0159ezal pl\u00edce. Nemohla jsem se zastavit. V hlav\u011b mi zn\u011bla jedin\u00e1 ot\u00e1zka: kde vzal n\u011bco, co pat\u0159ilo Lily?Baxter m\u00ed\u0159il k opu\u0161t\u011bn\u00e9mu parku na kraji \u010dtvrti. K m\u00edstu, kam Lily tak r\u00e1da chodila kreslit. St\u00e1l tam star\u00fd d\u0159ev\u011bn\u00fd mostek, n\u011bkolik opr\u00fdskan\u00fdch lavi\u010dek a vysok\u00fd javor, pod kter\u00fdm si \u010dasto sed\u00e1vala s blokem na kolenou.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jednou, pr\u00e1v\u011b tam, ke mn\u011b vzhl\u00e9dla a ti\u0161e \u0159ekla:
\u201eMami, i kdybych tu jednou nebyla, ty bys m\u011b stejn\u011b na\u0161la.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tehdy jsem ji obejmula a poprosila, aby u\u017e takov\u00e9 v\u011bci ne\u0159\u00edkala.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Te\u010f mi ta slova trhala srdce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pes se n\u00e1hle zastavil. Polo\u017eil jasn\u011b \u017elut\u00fd svetr na zem a za\u010dal zu\u0159iv\u011b hrabat v mokr\u00e9 hl\u00edn\u011b. Ud\u011blala jsem p\u00e1r krok\u016f bl\u00ed\u017e a spat\u0159ila n\u011bco, co mi vyrazilo dech.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Z p\u016fdy vy\u010dn\u00edval roh batohu. Mal\u00fd, modr\u00fd, s na\u0161itou \u017elutou hv\u011bzdou.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Batoh m\u00e9 dcery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Podlomila se mi kolena. Kle\u010dela jsem na zemi a ruce se mi t\u0159\u00e1sly tak, \u017ee jsem sotva dok\u00e1zala otev\u0159\u00edt zip. Uvnit\u0159 byl jej\u00ed skic\u00e1k. Str\u00e1nky byly navlhl\u00e9, ale kresby z\u016fstaly \u010diteln\u00e9. N\u00e1\u0161 d\u016fm. My t\u0159i \u2014 Lily, jej\u00ed otec a j\u00e1. V\u0161ichni jsme se usm\u00edvali.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nad obr\u00e1zkem st\u00e1lo d\u011btsk\u00fdm p\u00edsmem:
\u201eKdy\u017e tu nebudu, budu po\u0159\u00e1d s tebou.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V tu chv\u00edli se sv\u011bt zastavil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Neplakala jsem. Nek\u0159i\u010dela. Jen jsem tam sed\u011bla, zat\u00edmco si Baxter ti\u0161e p\u0159isedl a op\u0159el hlavu o m\u00e9 rameno. On to v\u011bd\u011bl. Od za\u010d\u00e1tku to v\u011bd\u011bl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pozd\u011bji n\u00e1m policie sd\u011blila, \u017ee po nehod\u011b n\u011bkdo sesb\u00edral osobn\u00ed v\u011bci z krajnice. Nikdy je neodevzdal. Nikdy se neozval. Ale Baxter c\u00edtil Lilyin pach. Hledal ji ka\u017ed\u00fd den. I dlouho pot\u00e9, co jsme se s n\u00ed rozlou\u010dili.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ten ve\u010der jsem poprv\u00e9 po t\u00fddnech otev\u0159ela dve\u0159e jej\u00edho pokoje. V\u0161echno bylo p\u0159esn\u011b tak, jak to nechala. Vzala jsem z police dal\u0161\u00ed svetr \u2014 stejn\u00fd jako ten nalezen\u00fd \u2014 a p\u0159itiskla ho k sob\u011b. A tehdy mi do\u0161lo, \u017ee bolest nezmiz\u00ed. Jen se prom\u011bn\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O m\u011bs\u00edc pozd\u011bji jsem se do parku vr\u00e1tila. Na javor jsem zav\u011bsila malou d\u0159ev\u011bnou desti\u010dku s n\u00e1pisem:
\u201eZde kreslila d\u00edvka, kter\u00e1 milovala \u017eivot.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Baxter dodnes ka\u017ed\u00e9 r\u00e1no stoj\u00ed u dve\u0159\u00ed a d\u00edv\u00e1 se sm\u011brem k silnici. N\u011bkdy ti\u0161e zak\u0148u\u010d\u00ed. U\u017e ho nezastavuji.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Proto\u017ee te\u010f v\u00edm \u2014
n\u011bkter\u00e9 du\u0161e nikdy skute\u010dn\u011b neodejdou.
Jen z\u016fstanou jin\u00fdm zp\u016fsobem.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Nevn\u00edmala jsem chlad ani \u00fanavu, jen ostr\u00fd vzduch, kter\u00fd mi \u0159ezal pl\u00edce. Nemohla jsem se zastavit. V hlav\u011b mi zn\u011bla jedin\u00e1 ot\u00e1zka: kde \n [...]<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4621,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4620","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-1"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chexia.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4620","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chexia.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chexia.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chexia.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chexia.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4620"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chexia.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4620\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4622,"href":"https:\/\/chexia.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4620\/revisions\/4622"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chexia.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4621"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chexia.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4620"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chexia.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4620"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chexia.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4620"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}